Making peace with my #1 pet peeve
…and staying warm on a cold FLA day
Yesterday was a chilly one, and we decided to bike anyway. We warmed up within minutes. So worth it!
We stopped at a rural hardware store we’ve been passing by for a while and have been curious about. You’d be hard-pressed to not find a solution to any home problem within those four walls! I love the small mom-and-pop hardware shops - the smell and variety bring me back to childhood and the simpler times I yearn for. They even fix bikes and sharpen knives on Mondays! My takeaway: Home Depot is overrated.
Like every bike ride we take, we stopped for a meal and drinks. Yesterday we stopped at a nostalgic place for us - the first destination restaurant we had discovered on our biking adventures, early days. I remember thinking back then, “Wow! We are so off the beaten track!” Since then we have found a dozen+ places we like to frequent that are also “so off the beaten track” and this was our first, making it extra special.
The parking lot is always overflowing with cars each time we go, yet we always get seated right away. The food is always on point, and the service usually is too. Yesterday, however, our waitress did something that in my book is a huge faux pas: She brought us the check and table-side payment device while I was still eating.
There was no one waiting for our table. There was no need to rush.
She also was very actively trying to make small talk with us during the lingering transaction, making it very hard for me to enjoy my last bites of brunch.
I consider myself a laid-back person when it comes to many things, but when it comes to service etiquette at restaurants I have standards. I confirmed with people I trust if I was being reasonable, including G + the owner of the restaurant, (only because he asked): Yes, I was being reasonable. I can admit as well, and I’m not proud of this - I can be a bitch when I am disappointed in this specific way. I will avoid eye contact and keep my responses short - my way of communicating how I feel without a confrontation. (Lucky for her I was not the one leaving the tip.)
I held on to my disappointment for a few minutes, then I let it go. Everyone has something that bugs them, and this is my thing, which made me think… perhaps I should write a book. I could channel my inner Judith Martin and compose a Miss Manners’ guide to “being a well-appreciated server”. Or maybe a few quick bullet points will do the trick. Nat’s tips for getting a good tip:
Wait until everyone is done eating before you ask if they are ready for the check (in our case yesterday, I was considering also ordering a muffin!).
If your table is deep in conversation and clearly enjoying their food, and if their glasses are full, and if they’re not looking around for help - you can walk by the table and take a subtle pause just in case, but please don’t interrupt their conversation.
If you don’t know all the ingredients because you’re new, find out and let them know before the food comes out. Few people are happy to have raw onions in their salad they didn’t ask for.
Don’t start taking plates off the table if there is still food on them.
Don’t make people feel rushed.
Read the room (or in this case - the table). People will tell you through their body language and their words how much interaction feels good to them.
I get how incredibly privileged this all sounds - eating out is a luxury that is never lost on me. Not having to cook, being served, and someone else clearing the table and doing dishes… yes please and thank you! I’m grateful every time. At the same time, as a paying customer, it’s ok to be grateful and to have standards. As I’ve said before, our money is our vote. We will go again, and if we are seated in her section I’ll give her another chance. I will remember, and I can forgive. I may also order a mimosa next time, so if it happens again it won’t bother me as much 😆.
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Wishing you all a happy Sunday, and remember - when your pet peeves come up, try to get playful with them! It’s only life after all. 🩷🧡💚